Paradox Enterprises

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110,292 notes

I’ve discovered there’s a lot you can do inside haunted houses.

fictionalfeather:

For example, you can:

  • be in a shampoo commercial

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  • start a boy band:

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  • spot some choice booty:

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  • break into song:

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  • see some people in frankly offensive outfits:

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  • attend a metal show:

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  • listen to some sick jams:

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  • discover zombieism:

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  • sample some tasty snacks:

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  • watch someone get burned bad:

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  • find something you really like:

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  • find something you really, really like:

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  • find something you REALLY REALLY LIKE:

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  • and wonder if you left the stove on:

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(via allcatsunite)

838 notes

muslimmafia:

my grandfather always had candy in his pockets, and one time when I got really sick and I was hospitalized my dad told him not to give me any candy. He pulled out his pockets to show he hadn’t even brought any and I got really sad but as soon as my dad walked out of the room he then proceeded to take off his hat and had 2 chewy chocolate candy toffees and 2 orange fanta toffees, and I’ll never forget the happiness and surprise I felt in that one moment in my entire life.

(via censoredsecret)

3,486 notes

thegeek531:

yugichrist:

legalizememes:

yugichrist:

legalizememes:

yugichrist:

legalizememes:

yugichrist:

You are on your way from the LOCAL LIBRARY to the U-HAUL rental center to rent a moving van when you are suddenly confronted by a TEMPLAR KNIGHT. He wields his BROADSWORD threateningly, expressing through his firm body language that he shows no interest in letting you pass. What is your course of action?

ASK FOR DIRECTIONS

You attempt to ask the TEMPLAR KNIGHT for directions, but he abruptly cuts you off, saying something French in a very angry tone. He feigns swinging his BROADSWORD at you, indicating that he is losing his patience. What is your course of action?

ASK WHAT IS THE MATTER, IN FRENCH

You use your SMARTPHONE to look up how to ask “What is the matter?” in French. “Que se passe-t-il?” you inquire. The TEMPLAR KNIGHT begins shouting a string of furious sounding French at you at a rate much too fast for you to possibly type into your phone, and you don’t even know how to spell it anyway. He feigns swinging his BROADSWORD at you again, clearly frustrated by the language barrier between you and himself. What is your course of action?

ASK HIM TO TALK SLOWER, AS I CAN’T UNDERSTAND HIM, IN FRENCH

You enter “Slow down” in your SMARTPHONE and tell the TEMPLAR KNIGHT ”Ralentissez!” He loses his patience and lunges toward you, swinging his BROADSWORD at your torso and slicing a huge chunk of flesh from your body. You collapse in shock and immediately bleed to death.
GAME OVER

Man, Pokemon is a rough game.

thegeek531:

yugichrist:

legalizememes:

yugichrist:

legalizememes:

yugichrist:

legalizememes:

yugichrist:

You are on your way from the LOCAL LIBRARY to the U-HAUL rental center to rent a moving van when you are suddenly confronted by a TEMPLAR KNIGHT. He wields his BROADSWORD threateningly, expressing through his firm body language that he shows no interest in letting you pass. What is your course of action?

ASK FOR DIRECTIONS

You attempt to ask the TEMPLAR KNIGHT for directions, but he abruptly cuts you off, saying something French in a very angry tone. He feigns swinging his BROADSWORD at you, indicating that he is losing his patience. What is your course of action?

ASK WHAT IS THE MATTER, IN FRENCH

You use your SMARTPHONE to look up how to ask “What is the matter?” in French. “Que se passe-t-il?” you inquire. The TEMPLAR KNIGHT begins shouting a string of furious sounding French at you at a rate much too fast for you to possibly type into your phone, and you don’t even know how to spell it anyway. He feigns swinging his BROADSWORD at you again, clearly frustrated by the language barrier between you and himself. What is your course of action?

ASK HIM TO TALK SLOWER, AS I CAN’T UNDERSTAND HIM, IN FRENCH

You enter “Slow down” in your SMARTPHONE and tell the TEMPLAR KNIGHT ”Ralentissez!” He loses his patience and lunges toward you, swinging his BROADSWORD at your torso and slicing a huge chunk of flesh from your body. You collapse in shock and immediately bleed to death.

GAME OVER

Man, Pokemon is a rough game.

(Source: staydepressed)